Reasons for myself?

Haven't you hold your chest so tight in order to avoid falling apart? Trying to escape from the loneliness left by your lips. Screaming, because you're not there. Maybe the past hasn't finish yet. Maybe you are still in my mind for a reason. A reason I cannot understand. The look of your eyes. The curve of your smile playing with the beauty of your nose. Maybe I'm not ready to let you go. Maybe I want to feel alive. Feel alive other five minutes with you. Be happy. Be me. I understand something; I miss you when you are not around. I miss when I cannot talk with you, be with you. I do not want to cry, but I cannot face this raising feeling inside me. I am not so strong. I played forgetting you, and all was bullocks. Rubbish of my mind. I kind of love you, but I don't understand myself. Sorry...